Stassi Schroeder detailed her past experience with self-harm, and how it impacted her relationship with husband Beau Clark, in her recently released memoir.
In her third book, You Can’t Have It All: The Basic B*tch Guide to Taking the Pressure Off — released on Tuesday, September 10 — Schroeder, 36, recalled getting mad at Clark, 44, when he went out to dinner instead of spending time with her.
“I was feral. And then I remember cutting the side of my hip,” she wrote. “This is the part that’s the hardest to write and admit. It’s maybe one of the most vile, manipulative, horrible things I’ve ever done. … I sent Beau and Katie Maloney photos of what I had done to myself.”
Schroeder referred to it as the “most twisted and cruel” thing she could have done to Clark and Maloney. “I’ll live with that guilt forever,” she added.
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At the time, Clark left the dinner and went home.
“He spent the majority of the night on the phone with his mom,” she wrote. “We woke up the next morning and he said if that ever happened again, even in the slightest bit, he’d be out of the relationship.”
Schroeder and Clark started dating in 2017 and got engaged after two years together. They got married in 2020, welcoming daughter Hartford in February 2021. The couple had an Italian wedding ceremony in May 2022 and welcomed a son, Messer, in September 2023.
“That was the last time I ever hurt myself,” Schroeder wrote in the book. “Beau saved me that day.”
The reality star also wrote about suffering from suicidal ideation and an Adderall addiction. Prior to the memoir’s release, Schroeder discussed her past with self-harm during an interview with Bustle.
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“When I look at myself naked, Hartford will see a little line, and she’ll be like, ‘Mommy, ouchie,’” the Vanderpump Rules star shared in the interview published on September 5. “I’m like, ‘Oh, God, that feels dirty. How will I ever explain to her that this was something that I chose?’”
Schroeder said she feels like her mental health struggles have been “a secret” — something she doesn’t like.
“I think that’s part of maybe why I do what I do — podcasts, just living out loud,” she said. “Because there is this feeling of: ‘I’m free. Everyone knows my s—. I don’t have to hide anything.’”
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.